I miss his scratch of his unshaven cheek against mine. I miss the crinkles that appear around his gentle eyes when he smiles at me. I miss the sweetness of his voice when he says my name, the gentleness of his arms around me. I miss the way we fit together perfectly when we slept, I miss how safe I felt with him at my side. I miss the precious moments we spent together, miss looking at my phone and seeing his name. I would give it all for him to be here with me tonight, his head resting beside
mine on this otherwise lonely mattress.

My heavy eyelids drop, and I lock away the surge of emotion that threatens to overwhelm me. He is my past, a lesson well learned, nothing more. If sleep should come to me, I would welcome it with eagerness, but it’s not a choice. Instead, distant memories drown me with sorrow and pain and all
negative emotions. I choke on the lump in my throat. I curl in a ball, and let everything wash over me, defeated.